Tuesday, October 28th, 2008: Back in time in Helsingborg

What I think,

The clocks went back this weekend. 

Yes, I suddenly decided I didn't like our clocks, so we brought them back to the Clock Shop.

But when we got our fancy new ones home, we found that they were all exactly one hour slow. Modern technology, eh?

Being the hyper-intelligent, mega-brainy guy that I am, I decided to just live with the erroneous time shown on my clocks, and turn up for my various appointments an hour earlier than agreed, as per my clocks' time. Smart, eh? 

Being the mega-intelligent, hyper-brainy guy that I am, I have many large, complex, and difficult books (with lots of big words in them) to read anyway, so I don't mind waiting; in fact, I enjoy waiting sometimes. Because I like to read books with many big words in them. Because I'm intelligent, brainy, and mega-hyper.

And because I usually like to turn up about ten minutes before any appointed time, I was actually an hour and ten minutes early for my first meeting. 

But within ten minutes, when I was just finishing reading my fourth word, other people started turning up as well. This was a bit frustrating, frankly. But since I'm nearly as tolerant and agreeable (not to mention generally very nice) as I am vastly knowledgeable, I ignored this apparent ignorance of the other participants, and went along with the impromptu earlier meeting time.

But at the end of our meeting, when I mentioned that I was surprised that everyone else was nearly as early as I was, they said, "Didn't you know? The clocks went back."

So I said, "Yours too?"

I think it's outrageous that there's such widespread shoddy craftsmanship of clocks in this country, and it's (well beyond) time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think. 

Sunday, October 19th, 2008: Blogging about bloggers in Helsingborg

What I think:

The darkness came early this year. And I don't mean that a British glam rock band popped up to Helsingborg and ejaculated prematurely; it's almost pitch-black by 7 p.m. these days, and we haven't even put the clocks back yet. Bummer.

I was at PL13 last night (which remains the coolest little bar in Helsingborg), and this British guy came up to me and told me that he had read this blog before moving here a couple of years ago. I always seem to meet people at PL13 who've read my blog. It's obviously where all the grooviest people go in this city.

Then I went outside for a smoke, and met an Irish girl who lives in Copenhagen. We were chatting a bit, and I told her about that guy inside, and she told me that she's read my blog as well. Wow.

I've come to realise that quite a few people actually read this blog to get insider information about what it's like to live in Helsingborg. So it's "mission accomplished" for me.

But there's still so much to write about. Do you ever get this feeling where you have so many ideas, and you feel all inspired and creative, and you just want to sit there for hours and hours and write loads and loads of stuff? Me neither.

But there are more pub toilets to review, more anecdotes about little bothersome things about life in this little city to tell, and more fun to be had.

I thought I'd say a few words about some fellow bloggers here in Helsingborg. I met one of them last night, as it goes.

Meet "Amy".

Amy has a blog (in Swedish) called Sweet Things in Life. She writes about things she likes. Having had another look today, it appears that Amy likes recipes, furry animals, and beauty products. She's sweet.

Oh, by the way, I had a visit from another of my readers the other week. Kieron might be moving here from Manchester for work. He got in touch so that we could go out for a few beers and chat about life in Helsingborg.

No visit would be complete without a trip on the ferry, so off we went.

Kieron says that Helsingborg is pretty much everything he expected. I haven't quite worked out whether this is a good thing.

Back to bloggers.

A good Yank friend of mine here has started a website with a buddy of his who lives in the States. If you're into American Football, and especially the jerseys the players wear, you'll simply adore Football Fasion Fanatics. Ken and his pal Rich are total nutcases, and their site/blog (what they call a slog) is an absolute hoot and a half. Ish.

Here's a photo of one of Ken's ears, taken at the Helsingborg festival this summer: Anyway, do check out their slog. It's funny even if, like me, you don't know your quarterback from your jock strap.

Another amusing Helsingborg blog is Screaming in Sweden. It's worth a look. The girl who writes it has some pretty special views on things.

The girlfriend and I went to Stockholm a couple of weeks ago. We went to attend an "After Work" party that was organised by the people at The Local (Sweden's news in English). We stayed at John and Sofia's place - two other regular posters on The Local's discussion forum. Another friend (and fellow blogger), Miss Kitten, stayed there as well. It was good to meet up with a load of people up there, most of whom I only know through the forum and facebook.

Here's Miss Kitten being a total tourist in Stockholm:

Isn't she nice? She lives in Gothenburg, which about three hours north of Helsingborg, also on the west coast. Do check out her blog: The Further Adventures of Miss Kitten.

There was much partying going on in Stockholm. While my girlfriend was doing all the shops, Miss Kitten and I sat outside a pub, and I think I had about 7 beers.

A bit tipsy was I, oh yes.

But later on, we met up with Seventiesdreamer for a bite to eat. And more alcohol.

Here's me with more alcohol:

I don't now how the topic came up, but we started talking about mushroom picking. Seventiesdreamer lives near some woods where you can find some nice mushrooms. I told her about my experience of magic mushroom picking in Wales.

There was a large field with loads of magic mushrooms scattered around. After about an hour of walking around hunched over and picking these things some of the psilocybin got absorbed through the pores in the skin of my hands, and I started to feel slightly odd. But I just carried on in a trance-like state, until I looked up and saw this enormous cow's head right in front of me. MOO! Gave me a hell of a shock.

For some reason, Seventiesdreamer found this completely hilarious. She laughed for six minutes and forty-three seconds. I actually managed to snap a photo of her laughing at my misfortune. And she wasn't even drunk. Bitch.

The next day, girlfriend and I went for a wander in Gamla Stan (the old town). We found a nice little place and had a coffee and cake. We thought the menu outside was quite interesting.I'm not so sure I like the idea of smelling like a mushroom.

So then it was back to Helsingborg and the "real world".

Here's another photo of Helsingborg's City Hall,
with the obligatory bloke on the horse in front
I like that building.

In other news, CSI: Helsingborg have a few gigs lined up!

Yes, we're playing in some crap little town called Höganäs on October 31st, on November 28th we'll be at a bar called Punkten in Helsingborg's beautiful south, and at Telegrafen pub on February 27th.

Oh, and my foot's fine now, thanks. I'm limping a bit, but the crutches are gone, and the beer looks after any residual pain I sometimes have.

I think that more people should be encouraged to blog. It's a lot of responsibility for one 5'-7" British-Canadian to have to bear the burden of educating the rest of the world about life in Helsingborg. It's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.