Monday, April 10, 2006

Monday, April 10th, 2006:
A misbehaving flat person
in Helsingborg and Helsingör

What I think:

My young niece in Montreal sent me a letter about a book her class read in school called Flat Stanley. It's about a little boy whose bulletin board falls on him and flattens him. He gets very depressed, and I suspect he probably gets prescribed Prozac for a while.

But then one day, probably after a long group-therapy session, he realises that being flat isn't all that bad; he can fit into an envelope and travel the world very cheaply. My niece thought it would be a good idea for Flat Stanley to visit me in Helsingborg.

The idea was to take photos of Flat Stanley in different places, and send them back to my niece for her to show her class. A bit of a geography lesson for her classmates at the same time.

I thought, sure, no problem, I'll show the little chap a good time, maybe even bring him on the ferry over to Helsingör (in Denmark), so he could see two countries in Scandinavia. Big mistake.

As soon as he got here, he was very demanding, and only agreed to pose for pictures after I promised that I'd pay for all his drinks.

Luckily, I managed to get some nice shots of him to send back to my niece.

On the ferry on the way back to Sweden, Flat Stanley got very abusive toward the staff, stole a bottle of Jack Daniels from the shop, got in a fight with some big guys, and smacked member of staff in the mouth when he tried to break it up.

When we finally got back to Helsingborg, he was arrested on the spot, and the Swedish government did something about it; they deported Flat Stanley back to Canada immediately, via air mail.

Little visiting Canadian paper cut-outs should really try to behave when staying with friends and family abroad. That's what I think.
Flat Stanley after his seventh beer in Denmark. A disgrace.


Blogger Shannon akaMonty said...

At least you caught him before he got to the hookers.

;) Thanks for the visit!

12:11 am  
Blogger High Priestess Kang said...

I'm laughing too hard to think of anything witty to say!!!

12:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The shot of Flat Stanley with the beer and cigarettes will likely lead to a very long and interesting discussion in your niece's classroom.

1:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ask Cathy (Breeze on By, Songs in my Head) about Petie the Penguin. He made it from Idaho to CO, SD, ND, AZ, and all over CA (I have pics if you're the least bit interested). I might have to ask you to invite him to Sweden next time.

4:11 am  
Blogger scn4 said...


Poor Stanley can't handle the booze...maybe he was off his Prozac.

Please tell me you didn't send that picture to your niece...


4:58 am  
Blogger kT said...

We did NOT take Petie drinking. And he was for adults.

Stanley sounds like a pain in the ass American tourist. But I'm glad he went back to Canada.

9:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Petie went drinking in CA, & my brother said next time they'll go to a "gentlemen's club". Petie likes to have fun in between sightseeing.

3:38 am  
Blogger Mark Base said...

Aha! the secret life of Pete the Penguin.

7:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you never acted like you knew Flat Stanley on the ferry? Quite honestly, his FASHION SENSE leaves much to be desired. I'd deport him for that alone.

Tell him to at least do something about his hair! That's enough to drive anyone to drink.

And thanks for being my first commenter. You're a doll ;)

6:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

some day you'll have to get Kang to tell you about Bob Bear. He's a hell of a world traveller, and he's very kind, but don't get between him and his drink...

9:06 pm  
Blogger Maritza said...

I want a Flat Stanley. Heck, I'll even take a FAT Stanley...

3:20 am  
Blogger Estelle said...

Haha. That's priceless. Hopefully my nephew's Flat Stanley won't be as much trouble but I don't know. I saw him eyeing my makeup and heels. He might just turn out to be Flat Transvestite Stanley.

12:55 am  
Blogger Aaron Cook said...

Mpunk, you're a riot as always! Loved the Flat Stanley post.

Take care my friend.

4:23 am  

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