Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thursday, July 6th, 2006:
Helsingborg Dreamin' (about bitch slappin')

What I think:

Well, there I was. I'd finally fulfilled my ambition of being a bitch-slappin' slave boy in the heart of beautiful downtown Vilnius, specially selected from a panel of super agressive Lithuanian prostitutes, one of whom looked suspiciously like Simon Cowell.

I considered it to be quite a tough competition, even though I was the only contestant on "British-Canadian Bitch-Slappin' Slave Boy in Lithuania Idol". Time after time, I thought that I'd be voted off after a mediocre performance.
But after just a bit of training from professionals, I came across as a natural. They showed me the ropes, and I instinctively knew how to use them.

When the final decision came though, I was elated. I wanted the moment to last forever. I was to work in the most exclusive clubs in Vilnius, and service the most demanding bitches.

I would start on Friday evening at 9:00 p.m. and work until 10:00 p.m. on Thursday evening. I would have a total of four dinner breaks - with local snacks consisting of fried bread with mayonnaise, garlic and cheese - all provided. I would also get a break on Monday, and be allowed to sleep for six hours.
It all seemed too good to be true.
Alarm clocks should be banned.

Actually, there's been quite a bit happening in my life at kind of a personal level - and I'm not the kind of blog-boy to share deep & meaningful issues with the world, so I'll just have to leave it at that.

Although I can't promise to continue the mayhem and idiocy that is this blog as often as I'd like to, I do hope you'll keep tuning in, just in case I manage to write some stuff. I will try to get here a lot more regularly, but with the way things are just now, I'm not so sure that this will be feasible.

I'll consider appealing to the Swedish government to see if there's anything they can do to help. But I'm not holding my breath; they've been useless so far.

Watch this Base for more info.


Blogger Maritza said...

Well, Lithuania is much more interesting than I expected. Prostitutes that look like Simon Cowell, slavery, slapping and fried bread - sounds like a virtual Sodom and Gamorrah.

I'm glad you're back and hope you rest up and find the time to write some more.

2:58 pm  
Blogger Mark Base said...

Thanks for that.

3:12 pm  
Blogger Tug said...

I hope all works out well.....and you keep having those sweet sweet dreams. Garlic for slaves? hmmmmm.

3:33 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew a Lithuanian once .... but that's a long story ... :)

Thanks for an interesting blog!

5:28 pm  
Blogger m said...

Hi Mark!
Hope things will turn out OK for you.

Be waiting for the next installment of the best bitch-slappin' blog in Helsingborg!

7:27 pm  
Blogger Mark Base said...

Thanks for the inspiration.

1:36 am  
Blogger Jaymie said...

I'll eagerly await your next entry. And hey, feel free to divulge some drama. Guy drama is the best.

2:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Mark, sorry to hear about the drama. Keep writing though, you always make me smile.


6:24 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I havent been to Lithuania though it's quite an interesting idea that I got from your point of view. Hope things goes well with you there. Got here thru BE

8:00 pm  
Blogger Airah said...

The Queer Chef pimped me here.


Just a part of the Comment Whore Week #1 thingy.

anyway, have a nice day! *hugs*


P.S.: "there's been quite a bit happening in my life at kind of a personal level..." Goodluck to you then.. ;p

11:07 am  
Blogger Juice said...

Oooh, I love the sound of your work! :D

Although working straight would get kind of tiring for a while :)

But if you love it, it wouldn't be a problem right? Have fun with that!

Take care :D

11:37 am  
Blogger High Priestess Kang said...

/me hugs Mark

4:31 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you can spare some time for your loyal fan base now and again, I've been missing you...

11:35 pm  
Blogger EJL said...

a simon cowell look alike prostitute isn't what I had in mind, buuuut....if him bitch slapping you gets you horny, more power..
Nice blog..thanks for the visit, just returning the favor. I will stop by again soon!

3:03 pm  
Blogger EJL said...

I think it's soo funny, bitch slapping and gotta go read the post about
A Night With Allan, Flying Pizzas, Fighting Hookers and an Image Re-launch.

you would love it

7:40 pm  

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