Sunday, June 03, 2007

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007:
Top Toilet Tips:
Pubs in Helsingborg -
Part Three: The Bishops Arms

What I think:

For the third part of this series, I took a walk to The Bishops Arms last Friday evening. I was with a friend who was visiting from England. We'd just been to the Charles Dickens for a couple of beers there, when I decided that it was time to go elsewhere to take a closer look at another pub's facilities. The Bishops Arms (or simply "Bishops", as it's more commonly known) is located very centrally. It's a pretty nice place to go for a few beers, although it's fairly pricey; a decent pint costs around 55 Kronor (US$7.90/£4.00/€5.90).

Having said that, the selection of draft lagers
they have is the best in town:
And For the homesick Brit,
or the locals or tourists who have yet to visit the UK,
they also have a few decent ales in the pipes as well.
And if whisky's your thing,
you won't be disappointed here.
All this liquid make me want to go to the toilet.
Don't be shy, come along with me.

How to get to the toilets:
When you enter the pub, you're soon met with a staircase on your left; it's a basement pub. At the bottom of the stairs, veer a bit towards your right - towards the bar - otherwise you'll bump into some chairs or a table. When you're facing the bar, turn left and walk past the little raised seating area, now also to your left. The door to the little toilet corridor is the last one on your right.

The door on the left-hand side of the photo above is the one you'll walk through. The signs leave you in little doubt as to which toilet you should use.

Ladies first:


Cute, eh?

Unfortunately, behind each of these doors, we find just a small room, suitable for only one person's relief at a time. Pretty bog standard, so to speak.Although Bishops has gender-allocated facilities, this fact is largely ignored depending on the situation. If you're a bloke and you see that the Gents is occupied, and there's no one else waiting, you go to the Ladies. It's just how it is here (have they no shame?). Makes sense to me.

Tip: There's another (unmarked) door, to the right of the Gents, through which you'll find the "disabled" toilet. I don't mean that the toilet doesn't work; it's actually meant for disabled people (or "mobility-restricted", or "physically challenged", or whatever the current politically correct term is these days).

This toilet's often vacant, unless it's a busy night.
And it's big.

That's just about it for the toilets.

During the summer (all 26 days of it), they also have a terrace, with two sections, at the side of the building.

It's quite nice to sit out there on a warm evening.

It was warm enough to sit there last Friday evening when my mate was visiting, so we did.

Here's an artist's impression of my English friend
sitting across from me outside The Bishops Arms:

But wait - that's not all. To the right of the British bloke (or to his left, actually), there's an odd-looking little booth there. It looks like this:

Guys, you may pee inside there; it's a urinal.

Girls, I'm sure you're welcome there as well, but there's no toilet paper in there, so you may want to bring your own. I can't imagine that it's terribly very hygenic for you to go in there, though. And there's nowhere to dispose of your toilet paper either. Not really fair, is it?

Plus, if you're short, your feet may dangle, and you will need a good sense of balance.

Not recommended after a couple of pints of Bishops Finger (I never fancied the idea of trying Bishops Finger; you don't know where it's been, do you?).

I think that outdoor toilet facilities (like urinals) should be made low enough so that shorter girls can access them without risking their lives and/or dignity, and there should be some little bins available for the disposal of toilet paper. It's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.

See also:
Part One: Charles Dickens ->
Part Two: Hamnkrogen ->


Anonymous Anonymous said...

(I never fancied the idea of trying Bishops Finger; you don't know where it's been, do you?).

I haven't stopped pissing myself, todays blog is too funny. Thanks for the laugh Mark.

Hugs Moozeyxx

11:18 pm  
Blogger Tug said...

I just feel like I should buy you a pint or something after all these trips to the bathroom with you. ;-)

3:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now that bar looks like my kinda place, spoilt for choice.

7:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damned manly stuff this web site WHAT more do we want in life but to know where the good pubs are and where the toilet is keep blogging kind Sir.

11:17 pm  
Blogger Jay said...

Usually when a man takes me into a bathroom, I come out with my panties in a jumble.


11:32 pm  
Blogger Webmiztris said...

lol, that outdoor toilet sounds nasty! i like the pics on the door of the regular bathrooms though...

2:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous stole my comment...ugh...maybe it's been in those toilets. Cute signs, tho.

3:49 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Why don't you move to Helsingborg . . . . . PLEEAAZE

7:38 am  
Blogger gabbi said...

Those potty signs leave little doubt for even the most inebrated!

8:12 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still miss the genious, master of the universe and champions of toilets - Badlands when it comes to toilets!

12:48 am  
Blogger kellypea said...

You're just hilarious. Period.

9:00 am  
Blogger BOBBY said...

I love the pictures you've shown. I just received my new PassPort, so thanks for letting me know where to find everything when I get there! LOL

12:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of your last posts, this one is the most interesting… for me. Greetings, Mariana Cuentos.

12:07 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the toilet comments. Though based upon the prices in here (i went last wednesday) i have decided to savour the beer as long as possible and avoid going for the FFP (fatal first pee).

12:08 pm  

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