Saturday, June 16, 2007

Tuesday, June 19th, 2007.
Top Toilet Tips:
Pubs in Helsingborg -
Part Four: PL13

What I think:

I went to one of Helsingborg's smallest, but coolest (in my opinion), bars the other night - PL13. It's located right across the street from The House of Pain (where I had my tattoos done), Tim's Haircut (where I had my most expensive haircut ever - same post), and the Telegrafen pub (which I visited here and here).

I've actually mentioned PL13 a couple of times before (once here, and again here); the music and the atmosphere are good, and the beer is above-average, with slightly below-average prices, for in-town pubs anyway.
It's worth going there if you're into music like The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Ramones, The Smiths, Kraftwerk, Placebo, and music of that genre and/or era. Most other pubs seem to play the worst of the past few decades' crap. And asking them if they can put on something else is not unlike asking them why their mothers didn't consider abortion to be the wisest option.

I just remembered, the time before I went to PL13 the other night, I was with a friend from England - after having visited the Bishops Arms (see Part Three of this series) - something a bit creepy happened. There was some bloke there, looking a bit out of place in his suit (although, to be fair, he may have come after work, or from some formal occasion), and he said that he reads my blog.

Now, that in itself is, of course, decidedly not creepy. In fact, I'd say it's flattering. But he said that he'd been reading it since it began, and knows much of it inside-out - he went as far as to actually quote some bits. That freaked me out a little, for some reason.

But this is undoubtedly just me being paranoid; it's not like he's stalking me or anything, and I really should be thankful for having such a devoted reader here in town.

So, at this point, I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, and extend a warm greeting to someone who may well be my Number One Fan in Helsingborg (OK, maybe Badlands is just as much of a fan, as he claims to check my blog every day, but I've actually known him for a good few years, and I think that he just says that so he'll get a mention in this blog, which he already has done here and here, the selfish bastard).

On to the toilet at PL13, then...

How to get there:
It's such a small place that it's not so difficult a journey. When you come in, simply follow the left-hand curve of the bar towards the back. Voilà.

On the wall just outside the toilet door, there's a big picture of Morrissey from The Smiths.
Here's a photo of me & Morrissey,
Pondering life's idiosyncrasies
(I never expected this to rhyme
But it did...errm...something-something lime):

To the right of where I'm standing in the (highly artistic Photoshop'd) photo above, is the door to the toilet (US/CAN: bathroom) itself.

You can't miss it; it's got a photo of The Ramones on it, and the doorknob is Joey Ramone's head. Or Joey Ramone's head is a doorknob, depending on how you want to look at it.

I honestly don't know if there was an attempt at some kind of statement with this,
but it's probably best not to go there.

Once inside, the toilet itself is on the left, and it looks like this:

The cool little armrests on the sides, as well as the size of the toilet area itself, mean that it's a wheelchair-friendly facility. Actually, I forgot to mention that there's a ramp on the few steps leading up to the bar's entrance, as well. Very thoughtful, PL13!

One slightly annoying feature of this lavatory is the laminated poster of Morrissey on the inner side of the door. It shows him with his most wistfully melancholic expression; gazing off into the distance above the toilet, with a single near-perfect teardrop oozing out of his left eye. Oh boo-hoo.

Perhaps there was one too many customers laying real lingering stinkers, or floaters that refused to go away regardless of the number of flushes administered. Who knows? I guess one of the prices you pay for being a singer of depressing lyrics in the 80's is the possibility of ending up smelling turds from a WC door in Helsingborg. A lesson learned.

In summary, PL13 is a cool place, but one toilet is clearly not enough, and although the bar is to be commended on its efforts to ensure that disabled punters (US/CAN: customers) can drink there, having Morrissey crying at you whilst you pee is a troubling experience.

It's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.

See also:
Part One: Charles Dickens ->
Part Two: Hamnkrogen ->
Part Three: The Bishops Arms ->


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, cough! hrmm!...I think the first toilet tip was the best one :) Just kidding!

And yes mate! I read it every day.

10:37 pm  
Blogger Cooth said...

Love the pic of you and Morrisey! This is a fun series, but what else you been doing besides relieving yourself???

3:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice review of PL13 nice pub. Are there 2 days a week :) nice people and the staff i nice to. Realy nice place if you dont want to listen to top music. Cheers

10:51 pm  

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