Monday, January 30th, 2006:The shortage of munchies in Helsingborg, Sweden

What I think:

I'm starting to think that the citizens of Helsingborg don't get the munchies.

OK, perhaps that's a bit unfair. Let me re-phrase that: I'm beginning to believe that the people who live in Helsingborg don't get the munchies. Not in the British or North American alternative-lifestyle-serious-munchies kind of way anyway. Let me explain...

Once in a while, at some point in a nice chilled evening with friends, you might feel like a nice tasty packet of crisps (US/CAN: chips). Nothing much, just a small packet with a nice flavour. Unless you like sour cream & onion, creme fraiche & chives, creme fraiche & onions, sour cream & chives, onion & chives & sour creme fraiche, or dill or pepper - and unless all your mates want the same thing, Helsingborg's not the ideal place. For those flavours are just about all they have here, and almost exclusively in big bags. Or you can get popcorn, or nuts, or big bags of Cheeze Doodles or Cheese Ballz. Exciting, eh? Whew! Where's my inhaler?

One thing they now finally have, and for which I thank the Lord Cheesus, is Doritos. I got so excited when I discovered them in the shop that my trousers fit all funny for a few minutes.

There simply isn't the variety of snack-sized pakets of crisps here that they have in the UK.

Over there, even in the smallest little corner shop, you can find a fantastic variety of Walker's crisps in handy packets. The basic range alone is: Barbecue, Beef & Onion, Cheese & Onion, Heinz Tomato Ketchup, Marmite Yeast Extract, Pickled Onion, Prawn Cocktail, Ready Salted, Roast Chicken, Salt & Vinegar, Smoky Bacon, and Worcester Sauce. OK, so they're not all great, but what a selection. Then you have their newer "Sensations" range, which includes: Chargrilled Steak & Peppercorn Sauce, Four Cheese & Red Onion, Oven Roasted Chicken & Thyme, to name but four. I shit you not. And that's just the tip of the jalapeno...Prepare to be amazed - just check them out. (You may have to scroll up a bit; I'll need to fix something with this blog page one day.)

The only problem with having so much of a selection is that it can be difficult to remember which flavours all your mates wanted, especially in the condition that causes the munchies in the first place. But thanks to the wonders of modern technology, you can use your mobile (US/CAN: cellphone) and simply ring your friends and ask them (for the third time) what they wanted, again. Of course, you could write down what they want in the first place, but that would mean getting a pen and paper, and remembering how to spell stuff. Plus you'd spend more time trying to find the bit of paper when you got to the shop - which pocket was it in? Did I even bring it? - than it would take just to ring them and ask.

But I digress (as you do)...

The people of Helsingborg have lived with over-sized bags of boring crisps for long enough. And they've lived without any decent alternative recreation for far-too-seriously long. It's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.