Tuesday, February 13th, 2007: Travel (to) Sweden: the Unofficial Guide to Helsingborg, Sweden - with yellow coats

What I think:

Helsingborg is a beautiful city. So beautiful, in fact, that it's a great place to get away from once in a while - just to enjoy its splendour anew - all over again. Except in the winter. During the winter, doing the laundry is more fun than Helsingborg. Try doing your laundry in Helsingborg in the winter.

Before you start thinking that I've started working for the Swedish Tourist Bored - I mean Board, I'm trying a little experiment, loosely based on an experiment by some Irish guy in Denmark. He's asked all his blogged-linked mates to link to him with "Irish in Denmark".

I don't know what he hoped to achieve, but if you find that you're linked to here through some weird random links, please link back to me somehow, using the term: "Travel (to) Sweden with invisible Zimbabwean banana-flavoured underpants".

My experiment is about trying to get the top Google search for "Zimbabwean banana-flavoured underpants" because we all know how common that is. So please, link now. This particular African nation's future may depend on it. Zimbabwe's may as well.

In the spirit of this post, I'd like to say a few words about my recent trip across the seven C's (which are not appropriate words to mention in a family blog) to Helsingör in Denmark.

Here's a photo of me at the threshold of my voyage - to Denmark: Don't I look like I'm in the perfect advert? It's brilliant! The sign says, "Welcome to Europe's (something to do with) turtle-ish (I think) ferry line! We segregate(?) misspelled baby swan runts!" Or something.

Wait. I've just been told that it actually means that they're frequent and that they sail all night. No turtles or cygnets involved, apparently. Boring.

Here's a photo of Helsingborg's coast on the way back (because I screwed up and uploaded the photos in the wrong order, and couldn't be bothered to fix it, because I haven't figured out an easy way to do it):The photo above was taken through a dirty window on the ferry. Adds character, don't you think?

While waiting for the ferry, we saw someone with funky leopard-skin-patterned shoes, so we decided to make this a spot-the-funky-footwear trip:

Then we saw them again:We didn't really see anything else that could be described as "funky", so we decide that a funky footwear trip was not gonna happen.

So we had something to eat, got back on the ferry, and went back to Helsingborg. You've already seen the photo of the coast on the way back, so I guess that's the end of that story.

Yellow-coated people in Helsingborg:

This should really be a different post. Oh well...

I noticed some people in yellow jackets walking around town a while ago, I think it was in the summer, or maybe a year ago, or perhaps longer ago (in Sweden, time is more abstract than it is elsewhere), and I've wondered what they were about ever since. Time to investigate.

I snuck up behind a couple of them recently, and took this photo: It says "Tryggehetsvärd" on their backs. This translates to "Security (or "Safety) Hosts". I couldn't work out what these people are about, so I thought I'd ask a few people.

I found out that it depends on who you ask.

According to some people, the people in the yellow jackets provide a valued service, looking out for the young people of Helsingborg, and ensuring that they're safe on these mean streets.

Others say that they're ex-criminals who can't get any other work.

Other others say that they're the Swedish government's way of trying to reduce unemployment figures.

I just don't know. There's this guy at the Charles Dickens pub who says that they're a waste of space, that they meddle in people's business, that the police hate them, and that they may not use the toilet unless they buy something. He doesn't like them very much.

The people of Sweden have a right to know who these yellow-jacketed people are, and how much they're costing. We need to be told, and it's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.

Here are some more yellowcoats, across the road from Dickens: And another shot of them, with a more sensitive and artistic view: