Wednesday, August 8th, 2007: CSI: Helsingborg to appear at Bjuv's 2007 Festival

What I think:

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but I'm a singer in a cover band here in Helsingborg.

I'd been in bands before, but never as just a singer; it's always been as a rhythm guitarist, back-up vocalist, with the occasional lead vocals for a few songs (while playing guitar).

When my guitarist friend asked me to join his band, my biggest worry, besides my actual singing voice, was what I was going to do with my hands.

It turns out that I play a mean tambourine, and I get to whack a cowbell for a couple of songs as well. The rest of the time, my various gestures make me look a bit like a cross between Morrissey and an angry Italian.

Because I was asked to join the band, I had very little say as to what songs we'd play. I was told that it's mainly a blues band.

One can sort of tell by looking at me that I'm not really a bluesy kind of guy. But I thought, what the hell; if I could sing a version of "Kung Fu Fighting" with Rude Guru in the 80's, I'm sure I can pull this blues vocals thing off.

When I first saw the song list, I recognised some Stones songs, some Hendrix, and some Creedence Clearwater Revival. A total of about six out of around thirty songs. But at least they weren't all blues numbers.

I joined about two years ago. We've been practising nearly every Sunday. It's always been more of a fun hobby more than anything else.

It eventually came to the time when we felt we should start looking for gigs. As I've mentioned previously on this blog, Helsingborg is not exactly a hotbed of live music venues.

The first obvious place seemed to be the Charles Dickens pub, as they have live cover bands on most Saturday nights.

But they were fully booked for ages, and wanted a demo CD before agreeing to let us play - which is fair enough.

Then there was the issue of a name for the band. The other guys didn't really like my suggestion of The Lesbian Boyfriends for some reason (I thought that name would rock), so I suggested CSI: Helsingborg.

They were a bit reluctant at first. They said "What's CSI stand for?", so I said "Crime Scene Investigation." They thought that was boring, so I said, "No-no, I mean Coolest Shit Imaginable." And everyone was happy. Bloody Swedes.

So anyway, we finally managed to record a few songs in our little rehearsal space. They sounded OK, so I brought the CD to Dickens and left it there.

The owner said he'll listen to it, but not for a while, as Helsingborg's Festival would be starting soon, and he had lots of stuff to do in preparation. Plus the Saturday night bands thing was off for the summer, to be started up again in September. So he'd have a listen as soon as possible and book us at some point after that.

I can't see how listening to three songs would interfere with his busy schedule, but nevermind. I bet he still hasn't heard it.

But then we found out that we could probably get a gig at the Bjuv Festival, which is like Helsingborg Festival's poor retarded herring-breathed half-cousin whom nobody likes very much.

Just what we were after - our big break.

Talking about it to my guitarist friend and fellow CSI, I found out that the last time he played there with a band, there was a huge crowd of...five. I'm not kidding.

And this guy knows how to count, so I believe him.

Then the woman who was organising the event told the bass player (who was the one dealing with her), that it wasn't actually confirmed that we'd play. Oh, and would he re-send the songs and band info, as they had been misplaced?

Apparently, last time they played, they were informed just days before the event that they were on.

But, today we got confirmation that CSI: Helsingborg will be playing at "Bjuvsfestivalen" on Saturday, August 25th, 2007, from 17:00 until 18:30 (UK/US/CAN: 5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.).

I found out after lunch when our bass guy called me at work. Yay!

But then he said, "Do you still have those photos you took? She wants a photo of the band, and she needs it today".

Err...I'm at work, and this is a bit short notice.

But he called her back and told her that I could email a photo to her tonight, so she'd get it first thing in the morning. This was acceptable to her.

I should bloody well hope so.

But here's the thing. I took individual photos of us once, and with each of us playing another's instrument.

So, in the photo I put together as a collage from the different shots, the guitarist is makin' sweet throbbin' luv to the bass, the bassist is pulling a Clapton on guitar, the drummer is getting funky with the microphone, and I'm doing a wicked backbeat and a few quick rolls of the skins.

Oh, and just for even more of a laugh, I made the bassist (who's on guitar) left-handed.

The photo below is what I sent to this (dis-) organiser woman. But exclusively for this blog, I've added the blue bits around the border. What do you think?

My girlfreind says that it looks like a really bad cheesy 70's album cover.

I agree, and it's one of the things I like about it.

So if you're reading this, I hope you'll be able to make it to this fantastic festival to see our very first gig ever.

It's just such a shame that more effort is not put into events such as this. I mean they only happen once a year, for the love of God in Heaven 17.

I'd request that the Swedish government did something about it, but I'm getting 1,000 Kronor for my part (£73 / US$149 /€108), and knowing them, they'd probably tax it all away from me. That's what I think. Bastards.