Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007:
Top Toilet Tips Update -
Bishops Arms ladies' toilet

What I think:

As some of you may remember, I wrote a review of the toilets at the Bishops Arms here in Helsingborg.

I mentioned how it's perfectly normal for guys to use the girls' toilet when it's busy there (honest). If there's a queue and a toilet's free, it's instinctive for guys to go there. You can't fight (Swedish) nature, OK?

But I've recently discovered a few other things as well.

For example, when there's a queue containing both guys and girls, the guys will always let girls go into the girls' toilet.

Very considerate, eh?.

The point being...?

Oh yeah.

So I was at Bishops Arms the other night and I needed to wee, so got into the queue for the toilets. It was an only-guys-in-the-queue thing.

When it was my turn, the first vacant toilet was the ladies'.

Because there were no ladies present, I went in and did my thang. Sorry, I just love the word "thang"; couldn't resist.

Thang.
Boomerang.
Wang.
Ke-chang!
Ourangutan (OK, maybe the first two syllables). Can you tell that I'm a bit drunk? Syllable is a good word as well, but I won't touch it because it's in brackets in the previous sentence.

Yep, drunk.

The füquîng point being???
Yes! OK! The point!

While I was in the ladies' wee thing, I noticed a bin (US/CAN: trash can) next to me. But this wasn't an ordinary bin; it was a closed one and had some kind of sensor above it. With a little waving hand.

It was mysterious.

It looked a bit like this:


This bin seemed to invite me to wave my hand above it. So I did.

The lid of the bin opened and closed gracefully, methodically, and almost clinically. I felt as though I was in a hospital.

A graceful hospital.

But this bin's lid seemed to have teeth or something, and it freaked me out bigtime (like that time I saw
a stripping sheep woman).

When opened, it looked like this:


You know, I was a bit drunk, but I managed to snap some shots of this monstrosity when it reared its ugly head. No problem. But what about the old folks, or the immigrants? What would they think?


Not enough thought is given to what could happen to the old immigrant folks, or the monstrous drunks, if they go to Helsingborg pubs. They need to know more about these things, and it's time that the Swedish government did something about it. That's what I think.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanitary_napkin

12:25 am  
Blogger Mark Base said...

errm...

Thanks very much.

12:42 am  
Blogger Tug said...

It's official...I need to visit Sweden. I've been in HOSPITALS that don't have those - you'd be delivering beers to me in the bathroom while I played with the monstrosity.

hee

3:08 am  
Blogger Not a Granny said...

OMG, that is funny!

5:24 pm  
Blogger kellypea said...

It's about time you posted another segment in your toilet travails. I would call that a big white house, which is what the custodians call them here. But I'm impressed with the whole motorized thang. Perhaps the Swedish government had something to do with it.

12:59 am  
Blogger Anndy said...

Kindly read the details carefully and help us !
The following is what happened to our family and our family-business !

The Firstsing Co.,Ltd. current status :

Anndy's RMB200,000 not got back yet ; the Shenzhen bitch lawyer No. 1 has charged us RMB200,000, returned RMB170,000, the rest RMB30,000 were eaten by other bitches and not returned yet ; the Shenzhen bitch lawyer No. 2 has charged us RMB90,000, returned RMB40,000, rest RMB50,000 not returned yet , totally RMB280,000 not returned yet , all the LOST and DESTROIED things during this bitch disaster not payed to us yet , while the bitches are still stealing, robbing , abducting and cheating EVERYWHERE !

Our Chile customer's order not handled yet , totally lost without any justice yet .

We are still asking for help though we've been doing it since year 2006 , the dog bitten my mother and everying began . You know I'm always doing real time report to the world and asking for help . While we are still in danger since being surrounded by so many bitches .

In the link below you can find full details and proofs with pictures and texts :
http://sites.google.com/site/firstsing1/
Download the " ATTACHMENT , sue2007.rar " , which contains all the proofs of the bitch case , with pictures , text files only , no virus .
And you can also refer to a part of those here , posted online one by one :
http://firstsinganndy.blogspot.com/


If you still think such a bitch government is hopeful , please type out all the documents in the
" ATTACHMENT , sue2007.rar "
and send to the highest court of the bitch China through the address below :

( in Chinese ) 最高人民法院立案庭 东城区东交民巷27号100745 85256114
( in English ) The Registry Court of The Highest Court of China , Building No.27, DongJiaoMinXiang, east city zone, Beijing, China
Zip 100745 , Tel. 86 010 85256114

( You can also refer to our housing zone forum here in Beijing if you can read Chinese, this housing zone is basiclly for the famouse TSING HUA UNIVERSITY . You can see many bitch PRETENDERS there. Even though , you need to login with the webmaster's permission ! http://qfhjy.eol.cn/ )
Because of our faith and kindness , we don't know how to lie . We just hope to do something for the justice and then we tried to organize our House-ower-community here in our housing zone which is the nest of the top bitches , thus my mother and I , and all our relatives in another city , are trapped so badly .


This bitch case is finally referring to the top end of the bitch government officers . You know how dangerouse it is to us .
Please kindly investigate in it and punish all the bitches for us , please earn justice and safety for us . Thank you !

--- Written by Anndy which used to be one of the members of the business website www.firstsing.com .

6:59 am  

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